Its kind of weird...everything around...everything that I am experiencing, everything that I am feeling. I am not saying that whats weird is for good or bad.
I always believed that everything happens for a reason and purpose, but the way things are going with me I am not able to see the reason. And that's making me restless..as if I want to travel in the future understand the purpose of the present and then come back and enjoy the present. I am really surprised at my myself for thinking this way...this thinking was never my belief.
For the part that is good, I am doubtful of why are things suddenly good to me, I guess thats the height of being a pessimist. And for the part thats bad, I feel what did I do wrong to go through this, I just didnt deserve it. But yes in both the cases I am still not able to believe that it is all happening to me, it feels as if its just a dream and once I wake up things will get back to normal, just the way it was few months back. But may be this dream is the best thing happening to me.
In these months I have changed drastically, and so more drastically in this one month. Again for the good or bad I dont know. Why am I writing all these things even thats not known, why are things so very unclear these days.
But to speak the truth somewhere inside I know the reason for all thats happening, but....!!!
I am trying to be positive, and patiently wait for the reason to come up more clearly. Let see, what comes up.....